A more apt title for this book would have been "He's Not There", since it is about a man who always felt that he was a female. But then Jim/Jenny was in a band that played the eponymous song and there wasn't a song that conveyed a male not being there. Nevertheless, the memoir was very open and candid.
Boylan struggled with her unnamed medical condition since being a toddler. He prayed that love would free him, and felt that it had when at last he met the love of his life, Grace. But alas, love doesn't conquer all, and Boylan realized the transformation would have to take place. James became Jenny. It was heartening to read of a transsexual person who was treated with so much respect and dignity. While it wasn't easy for many people, including his rock of a wife, and best friend, novelist Richard Russo, most people turned out to support her and to understand the necessity of her change. Even her children seemed to have been completely well adjusted to her transformation.
Boyle struggled with her inability to explain why she felt the way she did, and I hope she knows that people who are involved with transgendered people struggle with their inability to understand those feelings. Ultimately, I think, it isn't understandable or explainable, but that we just have to respect people's right to live their lives to the best of their abilities in ways that make them feel fulfilled. I'm glad she was able to do that in the environment in which she did.
Her obsession with her gender prompted many of her friends to ask her to talk about something else, and she felt a need to keep her sense of humor. Afterall, she is a writer of humorous novels. Out of nowhere, she inserted a letter written to NASA asking to be the first transgendered person to go into space. It was a bad move, and kept me from giving the book five stars. Her humor came out loud and clear in her writing and storytelling.
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